I have no idea exactly where I end and Saoirse begins – that’s kind of extra blurry now. For awhile its like we merged, and then Saoirse pulled away, but we’re still stuck together more than we were before? I don’t know how to explain it. I know that I’ve mostly been asleep for weeks and am just now catching up.

I’m kind of bummed, there was this huge outpouring of “we need Saoirse”. Did anyone say “we need Janet”? Um, not that I saw. 🙁

At least when I came back this weekend my main stereo in the living room was set up… but that’s also a bummer, because something isn’t quite right with it. I think there may have been some speaker damage in the move. I need to play around with it and do more testing and tweaking to be sure – which is something I can’t do at 11:00 p.m. at night. But right now the office stereo (based on old gear and craigslist finds) blows the other one away, at least on 2.1 music content.

So, I’m in a mood.

I’m not sure what my job in the system really is anymore, which I think is why I check out for extended periods. Up until a couple years ago I was arguably the “host”, at least outside of work. Now its mainly The Saoirse Show, more than most people realize. And I’m still around to do…. what? Be depressed? Gee, that’s useful.

I feel rejected in a way. When Saoirse pulled away and we kind of re-split, or became whatever we are now, it’s like… great, everyone needs Saoirse, and I’m extra dross that gets in the way.

Feels bad man.

At least the cat still wants my attention.