The spell checker wants to turn Pulmonology into Demonology. Obviously my lungs are possessed. I thought they were going to test if it was safe for me to exercise, not if it was safe for them to exorcise. I really must listen closer.

Before my PH diagnosis last week, I was told the absolute soonest I could get in to see a pulmonary doctor was at the end of March…. but suddenly they have an opening for me tomorrow. Hmmm. I’m not sure that’s a good sign, but I’ll take it.

I’ve asked my Mom to come down and drive me to the doctor. Things are too dissociated down here. The stress of a serious illness is really causing me trouble, and I’m not sure I’ll be safe to drive. Heck, I’m not even sure I’ll be aware of what’s going on.

I’m glad that the blog I started seems to be such a hit with my head-mates. I expected one or two posts a day. Guess there was pent up demand?

The whole “coming out” to facebook friends thing seems to have gone off with more of a whimper than an bang, for which I’m grateful. So far no one has told me I’m going to hell, which beats the first time I came out as transgendered 26 years ago. I’ve never made the fact I’m trans truly hidden, but I also haven’t broadcast it loudly since I moved to Washington 16 years ago. It’s one of those things I expect to be obvious, but it amazes me that some people really don’t notice? /shrug Seattle in 2021 is a different world than small town Arizona in 1995, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

I didn’t meet my first in the flesh trans person until I had been living as a woman for 2.5 years and was in Wisconsin for surgery. My entire support group in Arizona was basically my Mom. It’s when we got to be really good friends. She stood by me when everyone else turned away, and I love her to this day for it.

She may have been off in her own world when I was growing up, but in my adult years she’s been by my side every step of the way. I honestly don’t want to live in a world without her, and well, the way things are going… I may not have to. Silver lining of a very dark cloud, that.

I don’t want to leave a blog post on that note. It’s not a sure thing that I’m going to kick the bucket early, its just a bit of a stronger probability than I would like. I finally seem to have the doctor’s attention, and if I’m not happy with my care, UW Medicine seems to be the place to go. I’ll give PacMed/Swedish a chance though. For one, PacMed is a lot closer to home, and my closest ER is Swedish… If I’m really struggling to breathe and need an ER, its not like I’m going to road trip it down to the University. PacMed and Swedish are also on the same EPIC system, so they’ll have access to all my records, going back 16 years. That’s handy.

I’m guessing that the demonologist is going to refer me to the downtown Seattle location for all kinds of breathing tests. I did that once before years ago because of my asthma. Actually, that will be cool, because they’ll have something to compare against. Navigating downtown though… UGH.

I really need to get a new disabled permit for my car for all these doctor visits. I let my old one expire, because COVID meant I wasn’t ever going anywhere. That was probably a mistake. I hated using it though, and actively tried not too, even though sometimes I had no choice because of my back….. Actually, that is one blessing I currently enjoy – my back isn’t giving me any big problems right now. (I’ve had sciatica and back problems since my 20s, broke my T12 vertebrae in my 30s, and have had herniated disc problems.) See, that’s a real silver lining to end this post on. I can freakin’ walk without serious pain right now! Woot! Life doesn’t totally suck! /looks nervously at the sky waiting to have a lightning bolt thrown at her