One of the fun things about DID is you essentially get all the dissociative disorders. It's like a combo meal. Today for lunch we're having serious DPDR (Depersonalization/Derealization). Basically no one is really solidly buckled into the driver's seat. Saoirse is there, and is typing this, but is watching themselves from kind of floaty 3rd..
It was Love that brought me back. My love for my system, their love for me - I'm Saoirse 2.0 because of love. And yes, I am still working out what version 2.0 means. That's a topic for another blog post. My therapist said something that surprised me the other week. He mentioned "the L..
Believe it or not, that last post was written in a stream of consciousness, without any real editing. That's pretty much a raw view of what its like sometimes in my head. <laugh> Twenty five years ago that would have been written out long hand in a journal while in a ritual circle. There would..
Forest Wanderer & I start the journey by walking through the forest at night. It's peaceful. The stars are out. We walk in silence. My mind is going 1000 miles an hour - is it possible I could un-fuse, and go back to the people I was before? If it is possible, is it something..
This is a note to my headmates, as we seem to be moving more and more internal stuff to the blog as opposed to email, which is fine, I guess. It's true that the last month I've been floundering a bit in who I am, but I didn't expect how.... needed? popular? Saoirse was. First..
Hi everyone, its Sharon again. Jes was supposed to work some this holiday weekend, but that didn't happen. Oops. I don't know what's going on in Jes-land the past few days, while I've been out a lot. I hope they're OK. I've posted on a couple of DID groups that didn't seem toxic, asking how..
I've met Jes now, and while I can see Saoirse-ness there, it isn't the same. I broke down into hard sobs tonight because I miss Saoirse. Yeah, it surprised me too. So here is a final letter to Saoirse, to say goodbye. "Hey, asshat. How go the goat sacrifices? I put on some of your..
Hey all, its Sharon & Jes. This is our first real co-conscious time since Jes fused last month. So, in celebration, we're having a disagreement. <laugh> No, Jes took a shower, that's not the disagreement. There are two days coming up - System Pride Day on February 23 and DID Awareness Day, March 5. We're..
Back in one of the first posts on this blog, Saoirse explained how they usually did bathroom duties, while Janet was programmed to be pretty oblivious to those body-needs. Well, now that Saoirse and Janet are one, the bathroom signals aren't really making it through until the VERY last minute. That's putting pressure (of a..
I turned 25 days old today! <grin> Oh, and 47 years old yesterday. 25 sounds better. I'm still pretty spacey, although I've put in a ton of work over the last few days. Of all my ways of coping, I guess I like the workaholic solution the best. Saoirse would be proud. The truth is,..